Author: The Positive Principal

Hello! I am The Positive Principal. This blog is designed to encourage principals. Our jobs are often tough and unappreciated. My goal is that through sharing my stories, we can help each other to remain positive.

Mental Health Day

I’m about to share something that I rarely share with anyone (only my immediate family, a few close friends, and my office staff know – but we are like family). It’s not because I feel what I’m doing is wrong. In fact, I feel it’s exactly what I should be doing and something others should do as well. However, there is some worry about what my colleagues or supervisors will think of me when they find out. In this day and age, there is worry that if we aren’t giving our job every thing we have for every minute of the day, that we aren’t doing enough. Ok, here it is…the big reveal: I take a day off every quarter for a mental health day. I use sick leave and I go to the spa for the day. And, I plan these days at the beginning of the year and put them on my calendar. I completely check out at the spa…no phone, no electronics, no one to talk to. Just me, a good book, and relaxation! Ahhhh!

We all talk a big game about mental health and well-being, but there is still a huge stigma around taking time for ourselves. And especially if that time is used during the work week. However, I will tell you that my district gains when I take off a handful of days a year for my own mental well-being. First, I don’t have a mental breakdown. You are probably laughing right now. But, I’m being really serious. In my 7 years of leadership, I’ve noticed some patterns that I exhibit. I start out the year strong! September is great! October comes and I slow down a little, but I’m still in gung-ho mode. November comes and I’m still doing pretty good…and then in December I get a rest with Winter Break. All is good in my world. However, then comes January. January is a blah month. It’s my birthday month, but other than that, it’s soooooo looooong! I begin to wear down in January. But, when things really hit me hard are February and March. I call it March Misery. This is the pattern I’ve discovered. Every year that I’ve been in leadership I’ve had some sort of breakdown in February and/or March. I only realized this pattern this past year. It took me that long to figure it out! Last year I pretty much quit my job in March. No joke (I didn’t actually quit, but told my boss I was planning on it…I recanted a week later; he probably thought I was crazy).

Last school year I began to take a planned spa day every quarter. I went onto my calendar and picked a day, mid-week, for every quarter and marked it as an “out of the office day”. The first date that came up I almost cancelled. I was stressed at work. There was so much to do (I’m sure you’ve never once felt like this…yeah right!). I couldn’t imagine taking an entire day off to do something just for myself. Up until 4pm the day before, I wasn’t going to go. I even told my office staff I wasn’t going. I had decided I just couldn’t afford a day off; there was too much to do.  But, after around 4pm, I began to realize that the stuff that “couldn’t wait” really could wait one extra day. The school would go on without me. The world would not stop revolving. The next morning I allowed myself to sleep in a little, took my youngest daughter to school, and then drove to the spa.  Best. Day. Ever. My phone was in a locker…no electronics allowed at the spa. My family and office staff knew where I was in case of emergency. I promised myself I would not check my work email for my entire day off (sooooo hard!). But, I did it! I relaxed all day. I read an entire book. I treated myself to lunch. I talked to NO ONE! It was marvelous and exactly what I needed.

When I came back to work the next day, I was refreshed. All of the work that I didn’t think I could leave, well, it got done when I came back. The school had went on without me. I didn’t need to check and reply to my emails all day long (which is normally what I do if I have to take a sick day). That was the day I learned a lesson, my mental health and well-being are way more important than my job. And, my job needs me to be in a good mental state of mind. I’m more productive and creative when I’m good mentally! I finished last school year by taking off a day each quarter. But, I still had a mini-mental breakdown in March (ugh…the dreaded March Misery!).

It’s now February 5th. Today was my planned spa day. I was so glad and ready for this day…and it was everything I knew it would be. I relaxed, read an entire book (I’ll tell you about that soon) and reflected. Since I now see the pattern of the February and March Misery (I don’t know what else to call it), I am trying to be more proactive this year. I live in Washington State where it’s been raining almost non-stop since November. So, I bought one of those light-therapy thingy’s and will take it to work tomorrow and start using that when at my computer. I also planned in an extra spa day in mid-March…since I know I’m going to need it. I’m determined to be proactive rather than reactive this February & March.

I hope that in sharing my story and struggles, that it might resonate with some of you and maybe help in some way. Our jobs are hard! In order to having staying power, we must take care of ourselves first. Bottom line.

Now, about the book that I read today…that’ll come soon in another blog post (hint – check out the picture of me holding the book – but don’t judge me! It’s after my spa day and I had on NO make up!!).  My goal is to start using my blog more. So…more to come 🙂

Stephanie

The Positive Principal

 

 

The Why

It was a busy week. If you read my last blog post “The 2%”, you know it started off very rough. I ended up taking Monday off with my daughter who had an emergency dental procedure. When I went into work on Tuesday, I was playing catch up. All meetings from Monday were moved to Tuesday, which just made for a busier day. Ugh. Tuesday turned to Wednesday and Wednesday turned to Thursday. I was going, going, going. Work was getting done. Staff had their needs met. All should have been good. But, I was exhausted and worn down. And then Friday came.

Friday was the monthly Principal Awards Day. It’s an exciting day where students are nominated by their teacher to receive awards in the areas of Achievement, Citizenship, and Growth Mindset. I have a long red carpet that I put in front of my office. I also have stanchion posts with red ropes to complete the red carpet affect. Throughout the day students come to my office where I have music playing and they walk the red carpet. Some teachers tell the students why they are coming and others let it be a surprise.

When students are in my office, I take the time to explain what each award means and why they were chosen. I also always make sure they know that of all the students in the classroom, their teacher chose them.  The smiles that light up the students faces as I share this with them is priceless! It is pure joy.

Principal Award Day was exactly what I needed to remember my why after a long week. As principals, everyone counts on us. We are expected to get everything done, get it done on time, and to ensure staff, students and parent needs are met. It’s a HUGE job. I liken the job to an hourglass. Principals are the middle of the hour glass…the funnel. Staff, students, parents and the community are on one side. The other side is the district office, superintendent and school board. If you look at the hour glass, no matter which way you turn it, the sand always has to go through the middle (or the principal). This means we are in high demand. Everyone is counting on us and coming to us with their issues. Our work never ends and it can be extremely taxing. What can often get forgotten along the way is the why. Why do we do it?

I’ll tell you why…the kids. As much as I love my staff and community, I don’t do it for them. I do it for the kids. Principal Award Day reminded me of this after a very trying week. When I saw those smiles light up the kids faces, it reminded me of my why. I don’t ever want to get to a point where I forget my why. Because the success of the kids in school and in life is my why.

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The 2%

This blog is designed for principals, administrators, and other educational leaders who are trying their best to stay focused on being positive. I try. Every day I try. But, it is hard to remain positive. We need each other! My goal is to be an inspiration, but I will also be real with you. I’m not a perfect principal (note that I didn’t title it “the perfect principal”). I plan to share my trials, wisdom, some laughs, and positivity in the hopes that it helps others.

For my first blog post, I want to write about the 2%. These are the staff members that suck our positive energy and vibes from us. Here is my story…

Last week I decided to call the parent or spouse of every staff member at my school. That’s around 60 people. It was a big job, but I wanted to share how much I appreciated their child or spouse. The calls were amazing! There was disbelief that a principal would take the time to call, tears, and happiness. It brought as much to joy to me as it did them.

And then staff members began to find out. I started getting texts that night. Staff were blown away. The next day I got hugs with many tears shed. I received many grateful emails from staff and their spouses/parents. This pattern continued through the week as more calls were made. All seemed to be great! I was feeling happy about the positivity I had spread. And then the ball dropped.

I got a call from my boss telling me that a union grievance had been filed due to my phone calls. My boss explained that the union president had actually called legal council to see if what I did was illegal. My heart plummeted and then I thought “are you serious”!  With all that’s going on in the world, this is what someone is upset about? But, of course, being the tender heart that I am, I was crushed. I listened to my boss and hurried off the phone and then sat in the office of my daughter’s dentist silently crying.

My daughter and I went to pick up her prescription and I bought a bunch of junk food (because food cures hurt feelings, right?). And since I was off for the day with my daughter, I  figured I might as well wallow in my sorrows. And that is just what I did. I cried for most of the day. I kept thinking to myself “no good deed goes unpunished”. I then had angry thoughts about how I didn’t want to do nice things for my staff anymore as they didn’t appreciate it. I reached out to a few principal besties to commiserate with and that helped a little. And through it all, I ate many Oreos and Cheetos.

And then something happened. My secretary stopped by my house with some flowers and a handwritten card. With red swollen eyes and makeup that had been cried off many hours ago, I gave her a hug and accepted the flowers and card. The card was from the parents of a staff member thanking me for the phone call and explaining how proud it made them of their daughter. With my reddened eyes, I stopped and smiled. I realized that this phone call was important to them. So important that they took time out of their day to bring me flowers and a card. I then began to think about all the emails, texts, and hugs I received…and all the happy tears shed. And I realized that the 2% do not represent the 98%.

98% were happy! And not just happy, but proud and honored. Those are my people! Those are the ones I do this hard job for (well…and the kids, of course!). Those flowers and that nice card came at the perfect time moment. Positives will always outweigh negatives. I just needed a reminder.

I often hear as a leader, especially as a female leader, that we need to be less emotional, less motherly, or to grow a thick skin. I disagree. My emotions are what brought me to this field (loving kids and people and wanting to help them be successful). They are what keep me passionate in my job. Being motherly is what drives me to do nice things for my staff and students. It’s what makes me who I am. And I don’t want to grow a thick skin because that means those emotions will be put away or buried and I’m not ok with that. So, for now, I’ll hold my chin up high (even though it still upsets me) and I’ll continue to focus on the 98%.

Get up, right now. Rise up from where you’ve been, scrub away the tears and the pain of yesterday, and start again…Girl, wash your face!. — Rachel HollisIMG_9880