This blog is designed for principals, administrators, and other educational leaders who are trying their best to stay focused on being positive. I try. Every day I try. But, it is hard to remain positive. We need each other! My goal is to be an inspiration, but I will also be real with you. I’m not a perfect principal (note that I didn’t title it “the perfect principal”). I plan to share my trials, wisdom, some laughs, and positivity in the hopes that it helps others.
For my first blog post, I want to write about the 2%. These are the staff members that suck our positive energy and vibes from us. Here is my story…
Last week I decided to call the parent or spouse of every staff member at my school. That’s around 60 people. It was a big job, but I wanted to share how much I appreciated their child or spouse. The calls were amazing! There was disbelief that a principal would take the time to call, tears, and happiness. It brought as much to joy to me as it did them.
And then staff members began to find out. I started getting texts that night. Staff were blown away. The next day I got hugs with many tears shed. I received many grateful emails from staff and their spouses/parents. This pattern continued through the week as more calls were made. All seemed to be great! I was feeling happy about the positivity I had spread. And then the ball dropped.
I got a call from my boss telling me that a union grievance had been filed due to my phone calls. My boss explained that the union president had actually called legal council to see if what I did was illegal. My heart plummeted and then I thought “are you serious”! With all that’s going on in the world, this is what someone is upset about? But, of course, being the tender heart that I am, I was crushed. I listened to my boss and hurried off the phone and then sat in the office of my daughter’s dentist silently crying.
My daughter and I went to pick up her prescription and I bought a bunch of junk food (because food cures hurt feelings, right?). And since I was off for the day with my daughter, I figured I might as well wallow in my sorrows. And that is just what I did. I cried for most of the day. I kept thinking to myself “no good deed goes unpunished”. I then had angry thoughts about how I didn’t want to do nice things for my staff anymore as they didn’t appreciate it. I reached out to a few principal besties to commiserate with and that helped a little. And through it all, I ate many Oreos and Cheetos.
And then something happened. My secretary stopped by my house with some flowers and a handwritten card. With red swollen eyes and makeup that had been cried off many hours ago, I gave her a hug and accepted the flowers and card. The card was from the parents of a staff member thanking me for the phone call and explaining how proud it made them of their daughter. With my reddened eyes, I stopped and smiled. I realized that this phone call was important to them. So important that they took time out of their day to bring me flowers and a card. I then began to think about all the emails, texts, and hugs I received…and all the happy tears shed. And I realized that the 2% do not represent the 98%.
98% were happy! And not just happy, but proud and honored. Those are my people! Those are the ones I do this hard job for (well…and the kids, of course!). Those flowers and that nice card came at the perfect time moment. Positives will always outweigh negatives. I just needed a reminder.
I often hear as a leader, especially as a female leader, that we need to be less emotional, less motherly, or to grow a thick skin. I disagree. My emotions are what brought me to this field (loving kids and people and wanting to help them be successful). They are what keep me passionate in my job. Being motherly is what drives me to do nice things for my staff and students. It’s what makes me who I am. And I don’t want to grow a thick skin because that means those emotions will be put away or buried and I’m not ok with that. So, for now, I’ll hold my chin up high (even though it still upsets me) and I’ll continue to focus on the 98%.
Get up, right now. Rise up from where you’ve been, scrub away the tears and the pain of yesterday, and start again…Girl, wash your face!. — Rachel Hollis
The Positive Principal 